Tuesday night I sat in a bar with Bill in a booth removed from the main action of the evening. There was some interesting sexual power plays going on between some friends and acquaintances. There was a moment where the tension got kicked up more than a few notches. The type of situation where your body gets really hot and you have a thin layer of sweat that just jumps off of your skin. It can be scary/exciting when it is you. Like when you get caught in a lie, or kiss comes from nowhere, or when Grossman drops back to pass. It is an entirely different feeling when you aren't involved any more than a spectator and it hits you.
Bill and I both said the same thing when this person walked in the door, "I just got really hot!"
About a half hour later a disaster was averted when there was a near miss of awkwardness by timing of arrivals done to the second. It was like watching a movie.
It made me think about how much a second or two puts us in some many different situations in our lives. It is exciting to me to say the least.
**note: picture is not from the other night, but a year and a half ago. same bar, used for reference.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
I realized I'm becoming something I am not. I mean, yes, I am a little whiny (i.e. uno, dos), but that's from living with Atticus, that's not my fault.
I'm getting back to my roots, the thing passed on through the generations of Booth's that have come before me and carried the name with such passion.
I am drinking a forty in the middle of the afternoon, shirtless.
Happy Blackout Tuesday!
I am not going to get out of bed until this is finished.
I haven't been much of a dreamer since I was about 17. Not the sleep time dreams, my teeth fall out while I am stuck in a never ending fall in the middle of Las Vegas at least twice a night, but more the John Lennon type. I don't dream of grandiose changes to the psyche of the American public. I don't hope for the perfect mate to fall out of the bar stool next to me. I try not to make any plans, because I usually sabotage them before the get to pressing. I don't want to be anything.
To an extent, if I want something to happen, I make it happen. But for every night of singalongs around a table of beer I have two nights of working. I know, necessary evil, right? Fuck that. No evil is necessary. If we don't want to do something, we shouldn't. We all make compromises, and I am ok with some of mine, I just don't to be defined by my compromises, or my failures.
It has been said that the Antelope Valley has a large magnetic pull, which not only keeps the meth-heads here, but also pulls back in most long term residents should they happen to move away. It's happened twice for me, once from San Diego and once from Sacramento. I've also been in various stages of planning to move to Ventura, Colorado Springs, Chicago and Minneapolis (the last one is just in my head, which is probably where it will stay).
And all of that ties in with my lack of dreams. My lack of ambition. All of my desire is wrapped up in mostly booze, some making out, and a little music. I can make those three things happen. I can't make anything else work.
I am safe.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Last night was cosmo night. It was Girly Drink Night 2 (the first being mojito's, even though Whit thinks those are "dude beach drinks" or something silly like that). As with every night I ended up pretty drunk. The participants of Girly Drink Night 2 (read: my friends) sat around our new patio furniture drinking and talking and enjoying each others company. Which reads me to this:
Technology is killing honest interaction.
Yup. Myspace, Cell Phones, Email, Television, The Holy Trinity, Watermelon Pucker and Instant Messaging. They be slaying foo's.
Technology hasn't help me make any friends. Acquaintances at best. Actually, it has probably ruined more friendships than anything else. Sneaky text messaging, missed call logs, lost voice mail messages, "I'm away" status, purgatory, Kamikaze's and Tivo are making my interactions with people harder and harder.
I think I am not very demanding in social situations. Stiff drinks, good conversations and a place to sit. But all this technology seems to be getting in the way. We are creating these persona's that don't actually exist. We are slimmer, fatter, taller, shorter, sexier, more disgusting, smarter, dumber, and either more or less exciting.
And honestly, I don't really care. Two hours ago I was searching the Internet to try and find a girl I met last night so that I could hang out with her. WHY? Probably to try to get laid. But that's always the case. We are all really working towards sex, either with that person or one of that person's friends. Gabe and I came to the realization that a lot of the "ladies" we have been hanging out with (or in some cases trying to hang out with) have no actual interest in us. And to be completely truthful, we don't have much interest in them actual. It's all a stupid game. And technology is making that game easier and more complicated.
I guess that was my point all along.
Whenever I think of sex/dating/love/sweaty palms I think of my favorite scene from the Cameron Crowe film Singles. Thanks to IMDB we get an exact quote:
David Bailey: Tonight I'll be the super me.
Steve Dunne: What if the super you meets the super her and the super her rejects the super you?
David Bailey: Then it's no problem.
Steve Dunne: Uh-huh. Why?
David Bailey: Because it was never you, it was just an act. I live my life like a French movie, Steve.
Friday, May 25, 2007
So, about this business of staying up to see the sunrise. I was slinging margarita's at "Pepper's" and my roommates were doing sake bombs. I get home from work, 12:30ish, and the bastards are asleep. So I watch some heroes, I go to the celibate girl's house to drink beer on the shortest driveway in west Lancaster and watch a movie. She burned the popcorn, I almost stabbed her. Anyways, I get home at about 5, and everyone is still asleep. The sky is a nice begining morning blue and the animals are out in fullforce with their barking and chirping and crowing and honking (some cars were up too). So I went walking in the desert with my camera.
I am standing in the desert and I realized two things.
I should not be there. Everything I have ever been taught by people with more education or life experiance or money tells me that I should not be standing drunk and alone in a desert as the sunrises on a friday morning. I should be sleeping or getting ready for work. I should have finished school. I should be making a family. And I am doing none of it. Amongst my friends there is always talk of anarchy and practical application of it and blahblahblah. For those twenty minutes this morning I was doing it. I was alive. I was experiancing "space" in a new way.
I am impatiant. I stood there, alive, and between my breaths all I could think was that the sun was taking too long. I had things to do, or beds to crawl into, or something else. Nothing important, nothing meaningful, nothing as beautiful or exciting as what I was doing.
I didn't want it to end, but I couldn't wait for it to be finished.
Posted by anthony at 5:05 PM
I accidentally stayed up untill almost six o'clock in the morning. I almost saw the sunrise. I came close. I stood in the same spot in the desert next to my house for almost five minutes. I felt my heart beat. I heard bird's chirping. I almost laid down and went to sleep in the desert. I will do that in my bed now. More on this to come.
Posted by anthony at 5:46 AM
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
I realized last night that I am pretty bad with first impressions. Not the ones I give, but the ones I get. I am usually loud/drunk/honest enough when I first meet people for them to know exactly what they are getting into. Sometimes I can be a little shy, but usually melts away fairly fast. I'm just not a very good judge of character.
I am a pretty good judge of character, but a poor judge of personality. I'll meet you and fairly quickly know if I would loan you money or tell you how to get to my house or if I'd be a reference on an application. I seem to gloss over (or not pay any attention to) the personality traits that within the next few interactions jump out and surprise the shit out of me. For example:
Me: "I agree, you should take him home with you"
Person: "I'm celibate"
Me: "Your celibate!"
See? Oh, you don't? Let me explain.
It was a sunday night in a bar. The person was an underage girl. She had a shirt/dress from the set of Laugh-In and cowboy boots. No underage girl in a bar on a sunday night is celibate. Especially if she's in cowboy boots. It didn't occur to me that she might be crazy.
But she was. And she is. And I want to hang out with her.
Yeah, I know. Bill and I thought she stole the cookie sheet from our house. You don't accuse people of that sort of thing unless its possible. And I still want to hang out with her.
I hope I don't, but if I do, I deserve whatever happens.
A Booth and his money will soon be parted.
That's how that saying goes, right?
Posted by anthony at 2:39 PM
Monday, May 21, 2007
- Pedicure (yes those are my anti-authoritave toes up there)
- Mojito's (again)
- Drive-In Movies
- Moving Car Makeouts
- Stolen Signs
- New Furniture
- A Little Work
- Naked Threesome Proposals
- Dan's House
Monday, May 14, 2007
Myself and Bill walked down the street to get pizza today. Said street has nice desert on both sides of the street. While we were walking we see a cd on the ground. We pick it up, porno! Another one, porno! A third, PORNO! It was an ultimate porno treasure chest. Bill said "Man, times don't change, do they? When you were a kid, did you ever walk through the desert and find a old faded penthouse or hustler? It's still the same, but its DVD!" (quote probably not exact). Sure your town may have a music scene, or arts, or good public transportation, or a small percentage of meth labs and child abusers, but mine has desert porno, BEAT THAT!
Posted by anthony at 4:29 PM
Sunday, May 13, 2007
in no particular order...
- girls are evil (actually, this is number one, everything after is in no order)
- anything done indoors/outdoors is better with music being played extremely loud
- living rooms are for dancing
- bike rides are always nice
- always gamble on your birthday
- its good to cry
- titanium is for legs too!
- you are only as crazy as you let yourself to be
- forgiveness is possible
- cards are not just for major holidays
- you have to stay happy
Posted by anthony at 12:08 PM
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Friday, May 11, 2007
This is the new window. I like it. Buttons likes it too. I catch him sitting on the sill (?) whenthe window is open. It is pretty impressive, there isn't much room there and he's getting fatter by the day.
Why am I up at 1:30 putting widgets on my blog? And why am I not drunk? Well, as reported earlier I woke up sleeping on the living room floor. The spur kicked my ass last night, and I don't even think I was there for 30 minutes. Maybe I got ghb'd or ruphied. Or maybe I mixed beer, tequila, and whiskey with very little food. It doesn't really matter.
I was supposed to work this morning, I didn't, but that tree is dying anyways. Instead I took a shower, put on the same clothes as yesterday, did laundry and threw up in the laundry mat parking lot. It was probably from the booze, might have been being in the same room as a tv beaming out Oprah and Dr Phil for the first time in months.
So I stayed home, missing out on an awesome Matt Skiba/Chuck Ragan show in Hollywood, but advancing ever further in my new addiction, SUPER PAPER MARIO. I watched some hockey, I watched some basketball, I was disappointed in both loosing teams.
Now I am finishing downloading new episodes of Degrassi the Next Generation and adding a much needed actual post.
I'm going to try to take some pictures this weekend. I'll put them up on my flickr page.
Posted by anthony at 1:26 AM
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Somewhere between strawberry margarita's served by a plumber at El Toreo Far West and waking up on the floor in the living room Kirien turned me onto this show Home Movies. This clip is as close as I have ever been to looking into a mirror in the future. It makes me smile.
Posted by anthony at 8:26 PM
Sunday, May 06, 2007
I am very excited. I moved into a new house. I sleep in the smallest room. I picked it because I wanted to be able to look out my window at the front yard and street and passing life instead of the neighbor's yard. I'll take a picture and update more soon, but in the mean time I am going to listen to tom waits and look out my window.
Posted by anthony at 2:32 PM