sometimes a mix is just a mix

I used to make mix tapes. I made them for everyone. I made them for girls I loved and ones I hated too. I made them for my friends. I made them for my parents. I made them for myself. I was great. Sometimes they were just songs I liked hearing, especially if it was for me, and others every single song meant something.

I didn't like the transition from mix tapes to mix cds. Its too quick making a cd. You don't have to sit and stare at your collection for 45 minutes, trying to decide what will flow good into eachother. You don't have to set apart the time to listen to every song as it is being committed to tape. You don't get to change your mind halfway though a song because you remembered something will go better with the song playing than what you had lined up.

I want to get back to making tapes. But that's not the point.

I am in Oregon. A couple of days before I left I solicited mixes on myspace. I got two. I listened to them both waiting for my two planes and on them. I listened to both three times through. Why?

To figure out which songs mean something, and which are just for the sake of a good song.

I put myself in the "I" role of a song, then in the "you". Sometimes I am a part of "them", other times the "them" is against me. And sometimes the songs are about people I know, shared situations with the mix creators. And sometimes the songs are ones that I would put on a mix for them. It is a fun little game, but it can drive you a little crazy.

Oregon seems to be doing good things for my body and my mind. It hasn't been a full scale detox in either area, but I am getting little bits and pieces of clarity.

Here's to exciting days ahead (a weekend in San Francisco!).