In 13 minutes and 45 seconds: PIZZA

Spring break has started. I worked a little and left early. I spent some time with Stephanie, and made a great burrito. (Yes, you can put fake chicken nuggets, boiled potatoes, nacho cheese, black beans, jalapenos and hot sauce in a huge tortilla and not be disappointed.) Rode my bike, walked to the store and now am drinking a 40 and waiting for pizza.

I've got a bunch of exciting things running through my head. There is a definite short story, a couple more songs, maybe a picture idea or two. I am definitely excited for this new, fresh bout of creativity.

Even if I am starting to swim in a sea of self doubt. I'm getting closer to thirty faster than I feel is necessary. I don't see the people I care about enough if at all (that's you, Whit, and parents). I'm feeling more lonely in the city. I'm doubting the possibility of creating a family, including my desire to. School is kicking my ass, but only because I don't care. Things are getting rough.

But my good friends are getting married, my cat sit next to me when I blog (and wakes me up at 6:45 for food, which is ok lately), I have my health, I have music, and I am getting more comfortable with the fact that that things like family, my future, my friends and my own marriage don't have to happen or work out the way I thought they would for them to still work out.

This is post 299. Post 300 will be a picture from the early stages of my road trip to San Francisco. I would give you more, but, sometimes, that is all I have.

lunch break party is almost over

i'm smoking cloves, drinking beer, making a mix.

i leave to go back to work in 5 minutes.

i have no insurance, no smog, no registration.

i have 2 bucks in savings, 100 in checking, 40 in my pocket.

i'm out of gas.

i get paid in 10 days.

i work 45-50 hours a week. I don't get paid daily overtime. i get one day off every seven.

i'm in love. i'm in a great band.

i miss my families. i miss some of my friends. i miss my moustache.

i've never been happier. i've never been lonelier. i've never been so low. i've never been so high.

i love music. i love life. i love you.

have a great day.

i'm trying too.

VONS - 1 Booth - 0

A taped up 12 pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon was purchased the other day. Last night while watching a scary movie in the dark I was drinking said beer and eating Oreo cookies. The second beer tasted strange. I thought it was the cookies. It was the beer. It was actually club soda. I was pulling the "beers" out of the box in the box and putting them in my koozie without looking. VONS, you got me!

the things i did today

Today was a good day for me. I ordered a new hard drive and an enclosure for my old one. Why? Well, simply, it's fucked. It's had some awesome errors since I've moved here and the registry got deleted and its just a mess. I have a back up of it, but it's about 2 years old, so I would loose all sorts of pictures, music, videos and address. You know, the important stuff. I have always had random problems with it so hopefully this will help sort that out. Then I went on a walk. This is my route. I didn't plan on walking so far, I just wanted to eat some place different. I also talked to my mom on the phone, and I decided to grow my hair. That will last till I suddenly change my mind and chop it off. I got a new sweater today. Everyone should have a sweater, especially one that says OP on it. I took pictures of a church by the apartment. And I took the above picture of the cemetery that I walked past. I'm now going to go buy some beer and take it to a thai/japanese restaurant that I am very excited about trying. I might sneak some pictures, we'll see. Then it's off to the empty bottle for some music. A good monday.

Imperceptibility has a really good meme that I want to do, but I can't till I get my computer fixed. Go look at hers. It is good. She also cares if I am alive, which is nice!

Have a beer tonight, you know I will.

why i grow a beard

for the same reason i...

• drink malt liquor from paper bags in my bedroom
• my throat is sore after I see my favorite bands
• don't vote
• rent a home with my friends while people I know are buying them
• can never find a bad time to put on a good record
• write songs and sing them without knowing how
• ride a bicycle in a tuxedo shirt
• am jealous of people who spend most of their year in a van and on other people's floors
• have a hard time making it through every work day
• cry at weddings
• tell my parents I love them
• don't answer email even though I have 100 different things I want to say

Friday is a day off, after one day on, after 8 off.

Even if I don't tell you, I love you.

i didn't forget about you, and i didn't forget about me, i just did a lot of this

blogs=1, drinks=0, shit=tons

ok, ok, ok. I haven't put anything up on e-bay. And I haven't updated this. But come on, I've been busy not drinking.

It's a lot of work. Not because I crave it, but because it is such a common part of my life. But I have been doing it. I have been tempted, that's for sure. I've stayed strong though.

Just wanted to let it be known that the not-drinking hasn't killed me. I am going to bed. I have an idea for a post. It makes me smile.

cops?

We did edward fortyhands last night. Everyone made it through, though some of us threw up in the process (like me!). At most we had maybe 10 people here. The cops showed up at 12:30. Very strange. We had 120 plus people here at the beginning of the month, no cops. There is no way 10 people can be more crazy, out of control, and loud than 120. No way. The dudes in blue (actually it was probably brown/khaki, but that doesn't work as well) said they had complaints about us being loud. With the layout of the neighborhood it could only feasibly be two neighbors. The ones who were shooting (illegal) fireworks off earlier in the evening or the ones who came to our house warming with their 15 year old daughter and stayed till 3:30 in the morning. Whatever, cops were probably just making it up. Nothing happened anyways, they didn't even get out of the cars. Yup, there were 2 cars. Anyways, here are a couple pictures, I'm going to put the rest up on flickr in a day or two.

Kelly Clarkson is more punk rock than me.

Fuckin A! I bought the new Kelly Clarkson album My December yesterday. Why would I support a dinosaur on it's last leg (the record industry)? Because Kelly Clarkson is punk rock. Old bastard Clive Davis tried to give her 10 million bucks to take 5 songs off of the album because he didn't hear any hits. She said no. See, she wrote or co-wrote every song on there. Who would have thought an AMERICAN IDOL would have any sort of artistic credibility?

It needs a couple more listens before I can say a diffinitive thing on it, but listening to it last night in my backyard with all of my friends felt pretty good.

Here's to you Kelly!

i don't like cops and i don't like park rangers

That's a tame one for Hilly. I here there's some full frontal's lying around, I haven't seen them myself yet though.

On with the show...

I woke up naked with a hangover from the LA Blogger party. Oh Yeah! We drove the hour and half or so to Carpenteria and started drinking. We swam and drank and ate and drank and danced and drank and drank and drank. Beer, tequila, red headed bitsy's, vodka fruit punch. We set the party guns for full annihilation and unloaded the rounds. We played this funny south korean drinking game that involves a lot of clapping. I felt bad for half a second for our fellow campers. You can't be excited to see a baker's dozen 20-somethings shirtless in party hats.

So most of us end up in the ocean naked. This, along with everything else, gets the park rangers called on us. That's fine. As much as it is my right to have a good time it is yours to complain. But complaining about noise when it isn't even the posted quiet time hour of 10 pm, please! Being naked in public, ok. Being drunk, sure. But what pisses me off is being in the water.

I can't go into ocean whenever I please? So what if I drown, I'm responsible for myself. There are enough fucking fences around, enough places I can't walk through, or explore. There's enough mountains I can't hike without paying 5 bucks a day to. We reserved and paid for two spots. Then spots got moved to super shitty spots with half the space because they had to pave the other ones. It's summer! What are you doing the 3-4 months in winter when there is no one there?

I got sidetracked. We are paying for the privilege to sleep in the vicinity of the beach and to use the ocean, but only part of the time? Fuck that. Let me swim whenever I want. It's not like there's maintenance on fucking water. ARGH!

Despite the being in trouble for swimming, it was a great time. Two great nights in a row.

Happy birthday to Bill!

the omniscient narrator has a drink

Tuesday night I sat in a bar with Bill in a booth removed from the main action of the evening. There was some interesting sexual power plays going on between some friends and acquaintances. There was a moment where the tension got kicked up more than a few notches. The type of situation where your body gets really hot and you have a thin layer of sweat that just jumps off of your skin. It can be scary/exciting when it is you. Like when you get caught in a lie, or kiss comes from nowhere, or when Grossman drops back to pass. It is an entirely different feeling when you aren't involved any more than a spectator and it hits you.

Bill and I both said the same thing when this person walked in the door, "I just got really hot!"

About a half hour later a disaster was averted when there was a near miss of awkwardness by timing of arrivals done to the second. It was like watching a movie.

It made me think about how much a second or two puts us in some many different situations in our lives. It is exciting to me to say the least.

**note: picture is not from the other night, but a year and a half ago. same bar, used for reference.

...In this pond, some rise, some sink.

I realized I'm becoming something I am not. I mean, yes, I am a little whiny (i.e. uno, dos), but that's from living with Atticus, that's not my fault.

I'm getting back to my roots, the thing passed on through the generations of Booth's that have come before me and carried the name with such passion.

I am drinking a forty in the middle of the afternoon, shirtless.

Happy Blackout Tuesday!

What happens in bed stays in bed

I am not going to get out of bed until this is finished.

I haven't been much of a dreamer since I was about 17. Not the sleep time dreams, my teeth fall out while I am stuck in a never ending fall in the middle of Las Vegas at least twice a night, but more the John Lennon type. I don't dream of grandiose changes to the psyche of the American public. I don't hope for the perfect mate to fall out of the bar stool next to me. I try not to make any plans, because I usually sabotage them before the get to pressing. I don't want to be anything.

To an extent, if I want something to happen, I make it happen. But for every night of singalongs around a table of beer I have two nights of working. I know, necessary evil, right? Fuck that. No evil is necessary. If we don't want to do something, we shouldn't. We all make compromises, and I am ok with some of mine, I just don't to be defined by my compromises, or my failures.

It has been said that the Antelope Valley has a large magnetic pull, which not only keeps the meth-heads here, but also pulls back in most long term residents should they happen to move away. It's happened twice for me, once from San Diego and once from Sacramento. I've also been in various stages of planning to move to Ventura, Colorado Springs, Chicago and Minneapolis (the last one is just in my head, which is probably where it will stay).

And all of that ties in with my lack of dreams. My lack of ambition. All of my desire is wrapped up in mostly booze, some making out, and a little music. I can make those three things happen. I can't make anything else work.

I am safe.

it has been a week

I have a good week of the assorted activities. Details and pictures to follow on some.

• Pedicure (yes those are my anti-authoritave toes up there)
• Mojito's (again)
• Drive-In Movies
• Moving Car Makeouts
• Lions
• Walks
• Stolen Signs
• New Furniture
• A Little Work
• Naked Threesome Proposals
• Marcile
• Lostwood
• Dan's House
• Heroes
  

Let's hope to more blogging and more of all the other shit too.