Saturday, May 26, 2007

the loosing of friends (that's for you, bobb)


Last night was cosmo night. It was Girly Drink Night 2 (the first being mojito's, even though Whit thinks those are "dude beach drinks" or something silly like that). As with every night I ended up pretty drunk. The participants of Girly Drink Night 2 (read: my friends) sat around our new patio furniture drinking and talking and enjoying each others company. Which reads me to this:

Technology is killing honest interaction.

Yup. Myspace, Cell Phones, Email, Television, The Holy Trinity, Watermelon Pucker and Instant Messaging. They be slaying foo's.

Technology hasn't help me make any friends. Acquaintances at best. Actually, it has probably ruined more friendships than anything else. Sneaky text messaging, missed call logs, lost voice mail messages, "I'm away" status, purgatory, Kamikaze's and Tivo are making my interactions with people harder and harder.

I think I am not very demanding in social situations. Stiff drinks, good conversations and a place to sit. But all this technology seems to be getting in the way. We are creating these persona's that don't actually exist. We are slimmer, fatter, taller, shorter, sexier, more disgusting, smarter, dumber, and either more or less exciting.

And honestly, I don't really care. Two hours ago I was searching the Internet to try and find a girl I met last night so that I could hang out with her. WHY? Probably to try to get laid. But that's always the case. We are all really working towards sex, either with that person or one of that person's friends. Gabe and I came to the realization that a lot of the "ladies" we have been hanging out with (or in some cases trying to hang out with) have no actual interest in us. And to be completely truthful, we don't have much interest in them actual. It's all a stupid game. And technology is making that game easier and more complicated.

I guess that was my point all along.

Whenever I think of sex/dating/love/sweaty palms I think of my favorite scene from the Cameron Crowe film Singles. Thanks to IMDB we get an exact quote:

David Bailey: Tonight I'll be the super me.
Steve Dunne: What if the super you meets the super her and the super her rejects the super you?
David Bailey: Then it's no problem.
Steve Dunne: Uh-huh. Why?
David Bailey: Because it was never you, it was just an act. I live my life like a French movie, Steve.

So true.

5 comments:

ImPerceptible said...

I suppose technology can lead to social isolation. In the past if you wanted to talk to someone you had to go and find someone to talk to. You couldn't ease your lonliness by looking at your buddy list or chatting with someone you will never see face to face. On the other hand technology can give you a way to discuss ideas and explore possibilities with people you wouldn't run into in normal life.

I don't think creating a persona is all that bad either. Unless you are trying to manipulate people. Why not explore the parts of your personality that are neglected in your day to day life? With introspection you can learn a lot about yourself by what parts of yourself you wish to share and what parts you never want anyone to know.

As for relationships technology can be abused just like anything else. People can use it to avoid real life situations or they can use it to promote them. (Like the blogger parties) On line or not, people present the part of themselves they most want you see. I think on-line people tend to idealize people and fill in the blanks with what they want to see. That leads to disappointment. You can't do that as easily face to face.

I think technology played a large part in my relationship with my husband. He worked day. I worked nights. Some days e-mail was the only way to "talk" to each other. Many years later I found a folder. He had saved all our e-mails. I loved him more than I had in a long time. Reading all the little things that were the start of our relationship reminded me of why I fell in love with him in the first place. I would have never remembered all that if it weren't for e-mail and printers. :)

Whit said...

um, what she said. I think I've met some pretty cool people via this tech stuff. I like it.

A mojito is a fucking man's drink. Hemingway would punch you in the stomach if he heard you say otherwise. Besides, I saw Bill's recipe and he made it wrong.

Island Girl said...

I'm just following Whit around it seems.

But I honestly think people manipluate their images more in RL than online. Online you've got nothing to lose, really, so why worry?

In a sidenote, Mr. Honea, you are also a Hemingway fan?

*sighs quietly*

mrsmogul said...

I remember SINGLES! It;s better than living the life of the guy in SWINGERS. Did you see that movie? The scene where he leaves a zillion messages on the girl's machine.

nerdling said...

a) Hemingway would have said a daquiri is a man's drink, as he slugged away many gallons of them before his fateful meeting with the business end of a shotgun.

b) When the people you're trying to impress are not actually people you want to impress, does it really matter how far apart technology has pushed you? Is it any more likely that you were going to be less than the idealized version of yourself if you met those girls at a bar, knowing that you probably weren't going to want to know them past the edge of the parking lot?