Friday, April 03, 2009

In 13 minutes and 45 seconds: PIZZA

Spring break has started. I worked a little and left early. I spent some time with Stephanie, and made a great burrito. (Yes, you can put fake chicken nuggets, boiled potatoes, nacho cheese, black beans, jalapenos and hot sauce in a huge tortilla and not be disappointed.) Rode my bike, walked to the store and now am drinking a 40 and waiting for pizza.

I've got a bunch of exciting things running through my head. There is a definite short story, a couple more songs, maybe a picture idea or two. I am definitely excited for this new, fresh bout of creativity.

Even if I am starting to swim in a sea of self doubt. I'm getting closer to thirty faster than I feel is necessary. I don't see the people I care about enough if at all (that's you, Whit, and parents). I'm feeling more lonely in the city. I'm doubting the possibility of creating a family, including my desire to. School is kicking my ass, but only because I don't care. Things are getting rough.

But my good friends are getting married, my cat sit next to me when I blog (and wakes me up at 6:45 for food, which is ok lately), I have my health, I have music, and I am getting more comfortable with the fact that that things like family, my future, my friends and my own marriage don't have to happen or work out the way I thought they would for them to still work out.

This is post 299. Post 300 will be a picture from the early stages of my road trip to San Francisco. I would give you more, but, sometimes, that is all I have.

4 comments:

Whit said...

But you'll always have Cutler1

Whit said...

That's not a 1, it's a ! but one finger short.

Anonymous said...

If you're over school then by all means put it on hold after this term, but don't fail the courses you've already enrolled in and paid for. That's just silly.

Love, Your Mom
(Amelia)

Tobie said...

Thanks Amelia, I agree with you. And I miss you terribly Son. I don't understand why I'm waiting for you to come and see me, I need to come on down there and see you. I have a vehicle that will make it and once Jeff has worked for a bit, I'll be able to afford it. But what price do you put on seeing your only child? I love you Son. I'll figure something out and will be traveling from Oregon to hug you.
Mom (Tobie)