I know what it is like to be breasts

I'm riding back home on the train last night at about 1 in the morning. A man with a chiefs (the hockey team from slap shot) championship sweatshirt and cornrows got up to get off of the train and then sat down in a seat perpendicular to Allison and myself. As usual, I was avoiding making eye contact. It appears all eye contact brings you on public transportation is a question for money or an invitation to a fight. While avoiding the gentleman's eyes I notice his hand. It is in his lap, between his legs. It is pinching his dick. And rubbing it. And squeezing his balls.

He is looking at me and has a smile on his face.

It was top 5 funniest things to ever happen to me. This goes on for about 2 more stops before we get off (maybe him too! HUZZAH!). I had to bite my lip from bursting out in laughter the whole time. It was seriously hilarious. I haven't had to hold back laughter that hard since my junior year in high school.

I had a friend Nick Lee. Since we went to a christian school we were supposed to go to church once a week. You actually had to sign a paper saying you went to church that week. You were allotted so many missed church days a year, so, you know, if you are on vacation you don't have to track down a church. At one point during our junior year we decided to go to a different church every Sunday. We'd hit them all, and we were going to start with Christian Scientists. About 20 minutes into the service(?) there is a sound similar to a little kid saying BAH! really loud. Both Nick and I start to chuckle and then start holding it in. It is quiet. We look at each other and little spits of laughter keep coming out. I am almost crying. I went out side and laughed my ass off and collected myself. I came back in, and as soon as I sat down it happened again. We ran out of there and never looked backed, laughing all the way to Am/Pm.

I digress.

I was the proud fantasy of another man last night on the train. What a perfect ending to a great day.