Friday, October 24, 2008

25 and no posture

I spent the evening making the apartment a home. I cleaned, vacuumed, and cooked dinner. For a while it worked.

A recently friendly face had decided to head back to Florida. I made the 5 minute walk to the bar to say so long. I keep collecting going away parties, hoping the ones for others outweigh my own. They might all be the same, drinks and smokes and bad music. Coworkers doing their best impression of friends, saying the things you are supposed to say so in a couple days it won't hurt to realize you forgot they left. I share a couple of shots, never with the person of honor, and exchange a couple of stories about the nights before I came around and what they used to do. The bar closes it's doors and everyone piles into their cars. I walked back, this time its a little colder and I walk a little faster. I cross the street when I'm not supposed to and I see my reflection in the windows of the diner as I walk past. I realize I'm slouching, and I have been for years. I straighten up and things are better when I get home.

The hours I've been spending alone are adding up like someone else losses on the market. Me? I'm just trying to make it out alive.

3 comments:

ImPerceptible said...

I was making plans the other day for youngests b-day and I thought about you. Wondered if you were making plans for your b-day. Then I felt sad because I have this weird protective thing about you. So I went outside and kicked down, I mean accidently ran into, my neighbors McCain/Pallin sign. I felt better but I still miss hearing from you. I hope you're doing well.

Amelia said...

I never think about people who have gone away after they have gone. Either I was wrong when I knew them or I am wrong now but if I think about them or knowing them or not knowing them at all, inevitably I conclude I was just their fifth-favorite post to piss on and I can do without it.

Oh yeah and sit up straight, you're slouching.

ImPerceptible said...

How's your posture doing now that your 26? Happy Birthday. Stay a sweetheart.