days bleeding together

Folding/rolling burritos fills my days. I spend less time with my friends. I don't stay at their houses long enough, or try hard enough, or even show up enough. I go to work while roommates sit on the couch and come home and they are still there. I smell like burritos. I feel like a burrito. I don't hate my job. I don't yell at anyone or punch boxes of frozen fries. I'm just there all of the time. I can't find time to write, I can't find time to post blogs, I can't find time to write songs. I can't give all the time stephanie wants from me or all the time I want to give to her. I don't cook. I don't read. I don't take baths. I don't walk anywhere. I don't have any money. I get on the wagon. I fall off the wagon. Everyday is a blur, but not like it used to be, when I would work 5 hours, make 20 hours worth of money, and have a great time doing it. Now I work 11 hours, make 11 (or less) hours worth of money, and don't know where it is or where it goes. I'm on my break from work right now. I'll go back in 20 minutes. More burritos. More tacos. More people not saying please. More headaches. More calculated breathing. More. More. More.

I want less. Thank you.


Tonight: Bill's birthday.

the days seem short in chicago

I've been an official rent paying resident of Chicago for 17 days. I have had a job for 10. I have lived in 2 apartments. Confused?

I moved out of my apartment today. Matt helped me out. He is awesome. Here is the rundown of the last 48 hours.

Bill sent me my computer. I had it shipped to Allison's apartment because it seems a much safer package delivery spot than my apartment. So I carried my box on two trains to my apartment. It took 60 minutes. I don't have a monitor yet, so at my apartment I took the old roommates and hooked it up to my computer. See, the guy I replaced moved from my room to the living room, where he is sleeping and storing his stuff. Rent Free. Anyways. I have the computer running and I am super excited about uploading pictures and blogging and listening to music and all of that when I can't connect to the Internet. After adjusting settings I get a comcast page. It says to set up the account. But the account is already set up I thought. So I search through out the apartment to find a bill. I did find a bill. It was just shy of 100 bucks. It hadn't been paid since before I moved in. The reason I couldn't connect to the Internet was because there was no Internet. They turned it off on Monday.

I also found the gas bill. It is nearly 300 bucks, very much behind and on the verge of getting shut off.

So I talked to Allison and I am staying at her apartment. I didn't feel like living in Chicago in January and February with no gas. And god knows what state of unrest the electric bill is.

One of my now former roommates is in Europe for a school trip. The other called me after the couch guest told her about my stuff being gone. I was still in transit to the new apartment, I hadn't had a chance to call her. She is upset, but not about me not living there, or about the late bills, even if she know about them, but about having to find a new roommate. There is no lease, no deposit, no give us 30 days agreement before moving out. I would have gladly giving them 30 days, but I assumed I would be moving into an apartment with the things advertised and not in danger of loosing vital utilities. I'm not asking for any money back, but I'm not going to give anymore.

It's been snowing most of the day. It is nice. I really like Chicago. I have to get ready for work.