Her name was Jessica

I met her sometime during my junior year. She was a transfer to our little private school community. I remember having a science class with her. And I remember one of my good friends was trying to pick up on her. I was making out with a different girl named Jessica who I had a crush on the previous year but now decided to return the favor. I got invited to a birthday party by a girl who was a couple of years younger than me who I was kind of friends with. I wanted to buy her a present, so I asked if this new girl Jessica wanted to go to the mall with me. At this point my friend wasn't trying to pick her up anymore. After we went shopping there was a couple of hours until I had to take her home and go to this party. I half jokingly asked her if she wanted to go make out. She said sure. I took her to my mother's boss house, who was in England. We took a pad off of a pool lounge chair and put it on the ground and started making out. I got to second base as fast as I could but got stopped there. I spent the next 45 minutes or so with my hand up a shirt, sloppy kisses on my mouth and grinding my crotch into hers, jean on jean. I still remember how uncomfortable that felt. I took her home, we laughed and joked the whole way to her place. We hung out a few more times, hooked up and enjoyed each others company. Then she started dating someone, and I think I started dating someone and we just stayed friends.

About 9 months later I was keeping myself occupied with random girls and thoughts of college and everything that happens the last months of your senior year. My parents were in the process of splitting up. They still lived at the same house but spent a lot of time with the people who would become my steps. One particularly lonely afternoon I called Jessica. I invited her over. We hadn't hooked up since Christmas the year previous probably, or maybe later, or sooner, I don't remember. When she showed up at my door the first thing she said was that she wasn't going to kiss me. I hugged her and said no problem. We walked through my empty house to my bedroom. I think she had been over before, probably for a party. I put on some cd that was killing me at the time and we sat on the bed. Soon we were laying together, sort of spooning, sort of anxious, sort of distant. I think she said she had changed, that she didn't do that sort of stuff anymore. I told her again that it was ok. I told her I wasn't looking for that. She asked what I was looking for. I told here I just wanted someone there, someone to help fill the empty house, but life back into the coffin that had become my bed, my room, my house, my life. She looked shocked, a little. She hadn't signed up for this. I didn't know what she expected. Probably to repeatedly push away my advances. Maybe to give in. Maybe early afternoon sex. Maybe a bible reading. But she didn't get any of that. She just laid there next to me with a hand in my hair until she had to go home. And she left.

We didn't mention that afternoon. We rarely talked, except for school stuff and mild gossip at lunch. I think she is married now with a kid. And on that one day she did more than she will ever know for me.

Burritos!

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Dear VMA's...

No, I haven't watched them, but I'm going to. I was too busy watching the Bears beat up the Colts. Surprise, I know. I am watching the post show though, and I am confused. Is this where we are? 9 years removed from Nine Inch Nails debuting new music on live television? Say what you will about Nine Inch Nails, but at least Trent Reznor wrote music and no one from Duran Duran was in the band.

Anyways.

I'm going to TIVO this and watch it. No outside influence from blogs or anything. I'm gonna review it.

WHY?

I'm launching a new site - BOOTH REVIEW - this is gonna kick it off.

Be Prepared.

Love, Anthony

Dear Football...

Today is the beginning of football season. I don't count the Thursday game. I don't like the Giants, and I don't like football on Thursdays. I have a few wishes I want football to grant for me this year.

• Keep the Madden Curse ALIVE!
• Let Hester Break the all time returns for TD's record. Against the Colts.
• Let ESPN's Mr Fantasy Guy not convince me to start someone who will ruin my fantasy team that week.
• Have this be the last 16 game season.
• Don't let my cable go out during any games.
• And last and not least, bless Neckbeard.

Go Bears!

Let's keep the romance alive!

Apparently Christina Aguilera (?) and her man with a beard keep their relationship sexy by having Naked Sundays ALL DAY! That is what some woman with blond hair and a yellow suit told me while I was trying to watch college football,well, naked.

Being naked is pretty fucking rad. (Pardon my use of 80's terms of cool)

I'm naked a lot of the day, when I'm not in school or at work. At least the job all my friends know about. I did online philosophy and history homework today naked.

I talked to Whit on aim naked.

I'm blogging naked right now.

The only problem with all of this is if the cat is around he thinks my balls and/or penis are some sort of toy for him to bat at with his paws.

But you know what? Fuck Him!

Let's keep this blog sexy, lets keep our romance hot and heavy, lets save the whips and chains for when the kids are away at camp.

I'll blog naked.

You read naked.

All the world will be a better place! (I'd explain the benefits to the environment, but you already know that!)

***sponsored by The Secret Naturist Society***

***I'm kidding***

Anthony Sells Out...

This blog is up for sponsorship. Why?

Because I am broke.

Surprise, huh?

No, I am not upside-down on the home I own, well, because, I don't own a home. And my bank didn't go under so I can't get my funds because, I have 4 dollars in the bank.

Yup, broke.

32 dollars in my wallet, 31 available on a credit card, some miscellaneous change in my car, and 20 dollars in 1982 uncirculated pennies I got for my graduation from high school.

I was gonna go to the pawn shop today to pawn my guitar, but I stopped because Stephanie said she would leave me if I do, and she was already pissed off, so I didn't, I believed her.

So I need some cash. Here's how we'll do it.

You can sponsor it for one day for $10.
Or seven days for $50.
Or a month for $180.

In return you get:

• One post a day, two on weekends.
• The option of picking the topic of the post(s).
• The option of picking the style of the post(s).
• A picture of myself (and maybe Stephanie) at your favorite Canoga Park Landmark.

So go ahead and think it over. Tell your friends. Post it on your blog. Add it to your church newsletter. Whatever.

Thanks, I have to go suck dick in the alley now.

Class, classes, classless.

Sunday and Monday I saw Matt, my friend from Chicago. We stayed up ill 3 drinking and singing and recounting those cold months I spent there and the warm months I've spent here. It was another example of how both greatly and positively music has affected my life.

I sat in my first class yesterday since sometime in 2003. Different, very different. I didn't know my way around the campus, there was no one I had a class with before, no one who went to my high school, no one's younger brother or sister. On 3 hours of sleep I did well. I was excited to be there, and I'm excited to go again tomorrow.

I say things at the wrong time. I say them the wrong way. I say them to get things I want. I say them to back out of things. I say them to avoid confrontations. The worst is when it is the best thing to do but you do it at the wrong time.

I'm getting better at rebuilding bridges I've burned. I don't think I need any more practice, but I keep setting them on fire.