I know what it is like to be breasts

I'm riding back home on the train last night at about 1 in the morning. A man with a chiefs (the hockey team from slap shot) championship sweatshirt and cornrows got up to get off of the train and then sat down in a seat perpendicular to Allison and myself. As usual, I was avoiding making eye contact. It appears all eye contact brings you on public transportation is a question for money or an invitation to a fight. While avoiding the gentleman's eyes I notice his hand. It is in his lap, between his legs. It is pinching his dick. And rubbing it. And squeezing his balls.

He is looking at me and has a smile on his face.

It was top 5 funniest things to ever happen to me. This goes on for about 2 more stops before we get off (maybe him too! HUZZAH!). I had to bite my lip from bursting out in laughter the whole time. It was seriously hilarious. I haven't had to hold back laughter that hard since my junior year in high school.

I had a friend Nick Lee. Since we went to a christian school we were supposed to go to church once a week. You actually had to sign a paper saying you went to church that week. You were allotted so many missed church days a year, so, you know, if you are on vacation you don't have to track down a church. At one point during our junior year we decided to go to a different church every Sunday. We'd hit them all, and we were going to start with Christian Scientists. About 20 minutes into the service(?) there is a sound similar to a little kid saying BAH! really loud. Both Nick and I start to chuckle and then start holding it in. It is quiet. We look at each other and little spits of laughter keep coming out. I am almost crying. I went out side and laughed my ass off and collected myself. I came back in, and as soon as I sat down it happened again. We ran out of there and never looked backed, laughing all the way to Am/Pm.

I digress.

I was the proud fantasy of another man last night on the train. What a perfect ending to a great day.

the things i did today

Today was a good day for me. I ordered a new hard drive and an enclosure for my old one. Why? Well, simply, it's fucked. It's had some awesome errors since I've moved here and the registry got deleted and its just a mess. I have a back up of it, but it's about 2 years old, so I would loose all sorts of pictures, music, videos and address. You know, the important stuff. I have always had random problems with it so hopefully this will help sort that out. Then I went on a walk. This is my route. I didn't plan on walking so far, I just wanted to eat some place different. I also talked to my mom on the phone, and I decided to grow my hair. That will last till I suddenly change my mind and chop it off. I got a new sweater today. Everyone should have a sweater, especially one that says OP on it. I took pictures of a church by the apartment. And I took the above picture of the cemetery that I walked past. I'm now going to go buy some beer and take it to a thai/japanese restaurant that I am very excited about trying. I might sneak some pictures, we'll see. Then it's off to the empty bottle for some music. A good monday.

Imperceptibility has a really good meme that I want to do, but I can't till I get my computer fixed. Go look at hers. It is good. She also cares if I am alive, which is nice!

Have a beer tonight, you know I will.

computer. pictures. blog.

I FINALLY have my computer working, after much toil. To celebrate I uploaded every picture I have taken since after thanksgiving. Awesome. The blog will get a reach around tomorrow!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/iambooth/

the outside is creeping inside

It's 6 degrees outside. Apparently it feels like -12. I want to be Dana Jacobsen.

the days seem short in chicago

I've been an official rent paying resident of Chicago for 17 days. I have had a job for 10. I have lived in 2 apartments. Confused?

I moved out of my apartment today. Matt helped me out. He is awesome. Here is the rundown of the last 48 hours.

Bill sent me my computer. I had it shipped to Allison's apartment because it seems a much safer package delivery spot than my apartment. So I carried my box on two trains to my apartment. It took 60 minutes. I don't have a monitor yet, so at my apartment I took the old roommates and hooked it up to my computer. See, the guy I replaced moved from my room to the living room, where he is sleeping and storing his stuff. Rent Free. Anyways. I have the computer running and I am super excited about uploading pictures and blogging and listening to music and all of that when I can't connect to the Internet. After adjusting settings I get a comcast page. It says to set up the account. But the account is already set up I thought. So I search through out the apartment to find a bill. I did find a bill. It was just shy of 100 bucks. It hadn't been paid since before I moved in. The reason I couldn't connect to the Internet was because there was no Internet. They turned it off on Monday.

I also found the gas bill. It is nearly 300 bucks, very much behind and on the verge of getting shut off.

So I talked to Allison and I am staying at her apartment. I didn't feel like living in Chicago in January and February with no gas. And god knows what state of unrest the electric bill is.

One of my now former roommates is in Europe for a school trip. The other called me after the couch guest told her about my stuff being gone. I was still in transit to the new apartment, I hadn't had a chance to call her. She is upset, but not about me not living there, or about the late bills, even if she know about them, but about having to find a new roommate. There is no lease, no deposit, no give us 30 days agreement before moving out. I would have gladly giving them 30 days, but I assumed I would be moving into an apartment with the things advertised and not in danger of loosing vital utilities. I'm not asking for any money back, but I'm not going to give anymore.

It's been snowing most of the day. It is nice. I really like Chicago. I have to get ready for work.

snow on the train

I got of work today and it was snowing. It was nice. It is fun to see snow fall, because it seems not to land, like it is having too much fun floating around and attacking my eyeballs that it doesn't want to end up on the shitty ground to get trampled on and ruined. I understand how it feels.

My beautiful ex-roommates shipped my computer to me and it showed up today. Once I track down a cheap monitor things should get intense over here.

Ok, maybe not intense, but more frequent.

a shitty day gets better

Yesterday I woke up and went to a job interview. It is to bartend at a gay sports bar. I figure guys always try to impress ladies with the tips they give them, so why not take advantage of it. SO at the interview they told me they didn't like my (literal) beard and that I would have to shave it off. Also through out the whole thing they talked down to me like I was 14 and have never been inside a bar before. I had felt good about the whole thing going into it, but this just made me feel like shit. It piled on the shrinking bank account and random pains of loneliness and made the day start to feel long and shitty. So what did I do?

I got a job at Pepper's.

Yup, I'm back slanging margaritas and hopefully corndogs for the man. I'm not excited, but my wallet and bank account are, and that will make my belly happy when I fill it with Old Style and tater tots. (Apparently tater tots are a hot bar food out here, I haven't partaken yet, but I'm excited to.) The up side to the whole thing is I don't have to learn anything new, I'll start bartending instead of having to work my way up at another restaurant. And it is a franchise, and Whit used to fascinate me with tales weaved of a glorious Pepper's in the northwest that was a franchise and pretty much kicked ass. So hopefully that's how it is here. I didn't hate the Pepper's in Sacramento, so I could like this one.

Then the day got better.

I hung out at a dance club with a guy who was a rep for BUSHMILLS, so I drank a bunch of it for free then I ate the largest slice of pizza ever. IT WAS HUGE!

And on the train ride home, my car was the happiest place on earth. There was a girl getting escorted most of the way home by a date/stranger. As soon as he got up another guy sat next to her and tried to pick her up. Two sisters sat next to each other and tried to crush the other one and laughed loud and hard. 4 guys argued about sports and tried to get a sing along started. A girl with afropuffs and he super tall company smiled and talked something very interesting I only caught glimpses of. And I sat there, drunk, being embraced by my new home. A nice hug it was.