Thursday, May 29, 2008

day one

Waking up at 5:30 in the morning not knowing if that is the last time you wake up next to someone you love is not something I recommend. 2 or so hours spent putting little kisses on a shoulder or cheek, trying to wake her up isn't as bad as it could be, just to long. That first conversation of day should never contain "are you staying?" or "do you still want to get married?" or "do you want to try to help me be better?. Make up sex should not have to occur, but at least it does. Hours at work should not be worn away by stomach pain and unreturned text messages. Knowing someone isn't leaving doesn't mean anything when you can't see them. But coming home to them on the couch with a smile on their face and a ring on their finger means more than you can imagine, unless you've survived a shipwreck, or been where I have, throwing away something that no matter how much you tell yourself you deserve it, you can't make yourself believe that you've earned it. That nights sleep is much less restless. To more nights sleeps like that.

2 comments:

ImPerceptible said...

I hope everything is OK with you. Both of you.

Anonymous said...

So why does my stomach hurt for you now? Does she... will she... is there a ring,a smile? Don't deny yourself, make yourself believe you deserve it, cause you do. Elaborate, or maybe you should call your Mom.