vegas drunk

I was reading a book that talked about stages of drunk. For me, my maximum drunk is vegas drunk. Vegas drunk only occurs in vegas, hence the name. Untill last night.

Let's set the scene. Tortilla-less breakfast burrito for breakfast. Dinner salad and french fries for lunch. 2 large draft Guiness. 1 Brandy & Soda. 1 Corona. Soy Beans. Sake Bomb. Sake Bomb. Sake Bomb. Sake Shot. Sapporo. Sapporo. Sake Bomb. Sake Bomb. Sapporo.

BOOM!

VEGAS DRUNK.

I never really know I am vegas drunk untill I fall asleep. Not in a bed. Usually at a table (see above). I don't think I slept at table last night. I did dance on a chair and almost fall onto the table a couple of times. I remember the waiter with the headset saying "Anthony, be careful. Dont fall on the table." But I don't think I slept. Not till we got in the car. And everyone else got out and went to a strip club. And I slept.

Vegas drunk is good. The best thing about it is the bloody marys in the morning. But there are no bloody marys this morning. I just need a ride to my car.

in the business they call this a "booth-date"

*a booth-date is an update on a booth, particularly myself.

It's time for a list again. Here we go:

• That map is the route I will someday take to Minneapolis. I don't know when, I don't know for how long, but it has been decided that I must go.
• Soy-Taco is a wonderful tasty treat.
• Black Out Tuesdays have now spread to include MuthaFuckinMondays and Where's my pants? Wednesdays. A 3 day holiday drinking festival that sometimes includes a Surprise Sunday. My liver should be moving out before I make it Minneapolis.
• I have regained my faith in Red Bull and Vodka.
• I am becoming a cheaper date by the day.
• Most of my friendships are getting stronger, some are falling apart, a couple are gone forever.
• I have a filthy mind and a filthier mouth.
• I spend more time outside.

crosses on calendars - mix

I've been putting this mix together for a couple of days, trying to find familiar stuff and new/different stuff to make it cozy enough but interesting enough that it makes it through more than one listen. I made it not so much for a friend, but with a friend in mind. I wasn't going to put it up, just burn it and give it away, but my landlord (and pal) whit put up some post about seven songs on saturday and I thought "perfect, I have mix!" This one makes me pretty happy, it turned out well and is more suited towards late night driving listening than early morning jogging listening. Now I must get back to the outdoors and my beer. Enjoy.

Crosses on Calendars - http://www.megaupload.com/?d=YO137BKZ

• Running To Stand Still - U2
• Jaws Theme Swimming - Brand New
  
• Outro In No Minor - The Anniversary
  
• Trees Get Wheeled Away - Bright Eyes
  
• I Keep A Diary - Braid
  
• Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels) - The Arcade Fire
  
• Untitled - Against Me!
  
• Summer In The City - Regina Spektor
  
• Ships - The Weight
  
• Anybody Wanna Take Me Home - Ryan Adams
  
• Mexico - Samiam
  
• Rusted Wheel - Silversun Pickups
  
• Calendar Girl - The Stars
  

the disco before the breakdown

The name of this blog, both of them, come from a song on an Against Me! ep called "The Disco Before the Breakdown". Something about that thing hasn't hit home so much as it has today. I'm drinking water and coffee, trying to shake the booze from my head from last night. I'm putting off showering before going to work. I am checking my outbox/outgoing phone calls. I'm trying to remember last night, and the last time it was this hard to remember. I told my friend Kierin I am a walking bonfire. I think I might be right. I'm not sure if I am at the disco or the breakdown. I'll keep you posted.

pray for cambria

In less than a month, I will be attending a wedding in Cambria. Weddings are fun, I like to cry at them. It is for my half-cousin (she is a full person, just half booth blood) who I have never met. I haven't met any of my half-family (see previous parenthetical statement). This makes me excited because I like to meet new people. Now here is where things get interesting. My dad and stepmom are flying out from Texas. At christmas we (myself and my ex) told them that we would go, so they booked a double room/suite/townhome/thing to stay at. Well now I am still going. I told my dad a couple weeks ago that I was going to bring a date. No problem. I talked to him last week, and he made sure that I was still coming and was bringing a date. I told him yes, but that things had changed from date to platonic friends and that we were still going to go together and just hang out and fun. No Problem. So 2 days ago I get a call from him to tell me that my half-aunt told him that there going to be some single girls at the wedding (my half-cousins, all 3 of them, are within 2 years of my age in either direction). No Problem. Then later I get a message from him saying he wanted to talk about how I was getting there. Strange, because it had been discussed everytime that I and whoever was going with me were going to drive up the day of the wedding.

Yesterday he called me and told me my stepmom wasn't comfortable with someone she hadn't met staying in the same room.

WHAT!

It was fine when it was my girlfriend and there was the possibility of them waking up to us bumping uglies. And It was fine when it wasn't my girlfriend with the same possibilities. But now that it's platonic it's not ok??!?!?!

From the same woman who was "doing" my dad in our house while he was still married to my mom (who coincidentally was "doing" someone else too, but just not in our house)? The same woman who the first time I met was crying on the front porch at 2 in the morning asking to come in and see my dad? Yes, the SAME woman.

What does that say about her faith in my choice in friends/women? What does that say about what she thinks about me?

The idea was thrown out that me and my friend tim go to the wedding instead. Tim and me, both single, at a wedding, probably a worse idea than my platonic friend coming with me.

What this brings me to is this: Pray for Cambria. I am PISSED! So this wedding is going to get me on overdrive. I'll still wear my long sleave shirt (as requested by every person alive who will be there who's paid more into social security than me) and I'll still shake hands and be polite, but as soon as the I DO'S are DONE, so is cambria. Sleaves will be rolled up. Drinks will be drank. Drugs will be done. A whirlwind of booth is going to go through that reception, and those people will never see me again.

I'm thinking of wearing the suit the principal from the breakfast club wore so I can say "you mess with the bull and you get the horns" and mean it.

sleep

...makes you realize that the night before was good. Sometimes you have to be away from it to figure it all out.

i came to see you up there in intensive care

i told whit today if i had a stroke while watching basketball to let me die. i couldn't afford to go to the hospital.

i was right.

i can't afford anything. i don't want to.

i had an afternoon/evening that was short on substance and long on everything else.

joni mitchell was right, but she couldn't see the forest for the trees.

i must sleep, alone and comfortably.

a mine gutted of it's contents

I sat in an empty house, ate a burrito and watch a movie. The Last Kiss. At some point in the movie everyone was in an empty house, by either decisions of others or their own. I identified with them. I remember when I moved out of this house on avenue M, when it was empty of all of it's contents, it felt like I had never been there before. And it felt like I had always been there and belonged nowhere else. That house had a lot of windows. I am beging to think my happiness has a large correlation to the size/amount of windows where I am living.

There were a few arguments among the characters in the movie. And I couldn't help to think about how most of the time no one understands our decisions or motivations for them. We are all there, at one end of the conversation, trying to explain ourselves, knowing that the other person can't/won't understand. And we all end up on the otherside too. If we could just remember what it is like from one side to the other, life would be better.

last one out of liberty city, burn it to the ground

Right around the time I started drving, I began listening to a lot of Less Than Jake. All the time. I hated Lancaster, I was not enjoying the demise of my parents marriage, and I wanted to move away. Today I was listening to "Hello Rockview" and all those feelings came flooding back. Or rather memories of those feelings. And some of them are still true, and some are long dead. And it is making me feel like I sold out, or am about to, the next chance I get. I don't like it. I guess I'll just have to give away some soup.

who's that lady who won the boston marathon and only ran a mile?

I went jogging today. First time I have been running for the sake of running since I could grow facial hair. Being that I'm a "punk-rocker" I put on my running shoes, which are also my dancing shoes, and my ass kicking shoes, and my wedding reception shoes, and my... well you get. I have work shoes and non work shoes. (I would only have one pair of shoes if I wouldn't slip all over the place at work) So I put on my van slip-ons, my black dickies, my irreverent t-shirt, grabbed my ipod, a bottle of water, went to a park and started jogging. I did all right. My first mishap was I set my ipod to 25 most played, and apparently I am a drunk with a taste for sad alt-country songs. Not the best soundtrack for physical activity. Maybe I should as seen it as an omen, because my second mishap was just around the corner. We (being me and my jogging partner (yeah, i had a partner, the only thing I do alone is shower and drink)) would jog some then walk then jog then repeat. It was working all right till I decided to puke. There was a lot, so much so I didn't know where it all came from. I felt like I was on SNL and I was in a puke sketch. It was one of the most satisfying vomits of my life.

things you realize at 3:49 in the morning

• sleeping might help you stay alive, i might lead you to missing life
• mid-day waitresses at breakfast restaurants should not be your proofreader
• the purchase of gift(s) for people who know they are getting them, and fail to mention said gift when you see them next, was an ill-concived purchase
• when you think nothing good can come from zoni's, you are right
• never accept a third/fourth party invitation
• always drink free beer
• when you think you will see someone in a bed later, find the nearest sucker, bet him, reap rewards, repeat
• if you leave a building, and you feel you should be stopped, and you're not, you were never wanted to begin with, and you should never go back.
• the surest way to go somewhere again is to say you'll never go back
• if two people say the same thing about someone they have very little personal knowledge of, it's probably right
• but don't believe them till it breaks your heart
• the squeeky wheel gets the grease, especially if you are that wheel, and you are the third/fifth
• when you least expect it, tangled up in blue by bob dylan will make too much sense
• letter writing is a lost art, and there are reasons why our arts are lost
• as soon as you put down in writing you have yourself figured out, the people who you think deserve to know prove that you were just as nieve and boring as you were before.
• 3:49 alone is better than 3:49 betrayed, even if the person didn't know they betrayed you
• i'll make the same mistakes tomorrow
  

i was as fast as carl lewis, on fire

This guy got me. At one point I was standing, then I was laying on the ground, on the other side of the fire. And my hand was bleeding. I thought I had cut it. This morning I found out it was a burn. I didn't know, I've never been on fire before.

Last night at about 9 I baptized myself in the ocean. It wasn't cold, it was perfect. I mean, it was frezzing, but I didn't notice so much. I call it a baptism because it was, an outward gesture reflecting an inner change. It makes me happy.

I am sitting at home now, and I feel really nervous. Actually, I havent eaten since early this morning, so it's probably that. I've got an idea that will cure both.

swimming in the ocean at sunset - mix

Today myself and some members of the DBC are going to do a quick beach camping trip. In honor of the occasion I put together a quick 9 song mix. Enjoy!

swimming in the ocean at sunset

• All Sown Up - Lucero
• Sink Florida Sink - Against Me!
• Boatless Booze Cruise - The Lawrence Arms
• A Perfect Sonnet - Bright Eyes
• In Your Wake - Matt Skiba
• The Desperation's Gone - NOFX
• See America Right - The Mountain Goats
• You Might Be Right - Avail
• Dead End Roads - One Reason