The Interview Threesome

There is the MeMe going around, the "interview me" MeMe. And you don't actually tag anyone for it, but you volunteer. Now that you know the basics, here is what happened.

Lovely IslandGirl did it. And supersweet ImPerceptibility did it. And I thought I should do it too. With both of them. So here is the blog equivalent of a menage a tous. I'll alternate like any good threesome participant should, but I won't tell you who wrote which question. It almost adds a nice bondage/s&m aspect to it.

1. You, either by chance or fate, land on the blog page of the woman you will spend the rest of your life. What are the titles of her first five posts?

One of the best questions I have seen, ever. In no particular order.

• On the receiving of my new grand piano.
• Sorry I'm late, I was out spoiling my liver.
• On Holiday From The Holidays.
• When my feet hit the road. Or how I learned to hold on by letting everything go.
• What I actually felt last night in the basement.

2. Would you give up the drink for the love of a good woman? Or would you give up a good woman for the love of drink? Which is better? Which is wetter? Which has made you the man you are today? Make of this question what you may, and answer at will.

I've known both good women and good drink. They have both been there to comfort me and have both been there to break my heart. I have stood on rooftops with both. I have ridden bicycles with both. I have made bad decisions with both. I would like to think that a good woman would love me, drunk or no (her or me). If at any point a drink seems more appetizing then a good woman then I have become my father, and I am fucked. I have been greater affected by both the love and hatred of good and not-so-good women more than drink. So would I give up drinking for a good woman? Yes. Would I give up a good woman for drinking? Yes.

3. Who pops out of your birthday cake and what do they say?

John Cusack. He says "Here's to you, Booth". We toast. It starts to rain.

4. Are you an accurate example of your own zodiac sign?

I am a Scorpio. My birthday is November 16th. I believe that makes me a Scorpio III. I use to hold a lot of stock in the zodiac and read all about it. So much so that when I meet someone I almost always check are sign compatibility. Everything I have ever read about Scorpios are true about me. I am complex, loyal, sexual, secretive, jealous, aggressive, inquisitive and prone to extremity. Pretty much anyone who knows me can vouch for this.

5. What do you think is the most important thing I should teach my children?

DIY. Do It Yourself. Not that shitty television network about putting new concrete steps in front of your house. Teach them the value of their own ability to make anything happen that they want to happen. For me it is mostly associated with punk rock and creativity, but it is something that the whole world would benefit from. They want to write a book? Write it and publish it themselves. They want to make the roads in their town safer for people who aren't in cars (you know, pedestrians and bicyclists)? Don't wait around for the politicians to do something about it, make it happen. That and punk rock is dead, so they create their own version of it.

6. If you do decide to leave the Antelope Valley, which city is your number one destination choice right now, and why?

Chicago. The reasons, in order. I won't need a car. I can go to Bears games at Solider Field. The music scene. And I have wanted to live there for about 5 years.

7. What is your favorite Booth! song?

The next one that is going to be written. I love all of the ones that already exist. Some are shitty, some are not. But the unknown is exciting. What's next fills me with joy!

8. Are there really antelopes in your valley?

Just the students of the worst high school in the valley.

9. Are you wearing pants?

When I started this, yes. When I got home from work, after drinking tall cans of beer and a bottle of champagne, no. Just me and my glasses and my boxers. I don't like wearing clothes that much. And I enjoy the activities that require a little bit of clothing very much. (Swimming, bodybuilding, sex, hostile takeovers.)

10. Poetry. Do you read it? Do you write it, outside of your rather poetic and elliptical blog? If you feel this question compromises your masculinity (although it does not!), I will accept a Hard Man's Answer such as "only in rock songs."

My poetry reading/writing is much like everything in my life. I do a lot of it, then I don't. I have a very addictive personality. It is pretty much all or nothing. I fancied myself a poet when I was in high school, but didn't anyone who wasn't getting laid and received some sort of shitty look from someone else about what they thought was cool? I used to write poems for girls/women. I don't do that much anymore. It could be because I haven't had those strong of feelings lately, or it could be because it just ends up getting you in trouble, but it probably has to do with a conspiracy I have entered into with all of my ex's to make money off of my poetry once I die a tragic death.

11. Please describe your favourite tattoo - when and where did you get it, what is it, what does it stand for, etc.

Better yet, How about a couple of pictures.

This is my molotov cocktail. It is on my left arm. Nate Hopewell did it, he did all of these. I got it right before my 22nd birthday. It is a molotov cocktail. It stands for that.


This is my dead lady and upside down crown. It is at the top of my left arm. The crown is for my distaste of government, the lady for my love of women.


Yes, this is the Morton Salt Girl. It is on my leg. The script says "When it pains, it roars". It is a tribute to one of the best bands ever, Jawbreaker.


This is my second most recent tattoo. It is on my right arm. It is a Kurt Vonnegut tribute. It is also a tribute to my nomadic lifestyle.

Most of my tattoos are music related. They are band logos, or representation of song lyrics, or just a mark of some point in my life. And all of those points in my life have a band attached to them too.

12. Please describe your favourite meal. All courses, dessert, drinks, everything. Then your lovely lady fans can make it for you if you are ever in town. Your lovely man fans as well, not to be sexist!

To be completely honest, food doesn't interest me that much. I don't crave things very often, and those craving have slimmed down especially since I became a vegetarian 6 months ago. I like food. And I like dessert. And I like drinks. But I like the people who consume those things with me more. I love the conversations, the strange revealings of the first few meals with someone, the learning of likes and dislikes, the stories that are shared and the stories that are created. Some food that is always awesome: asparagus, pizza, grilled cheese sandwiches, popcorn, and edible panties. (the last part I am not a first hand taster, but, really, they have to be great!) Give me any of these things, or anything tasty for that matter, and someone who wants to talk as opposed to watch tv or be shallow, and I will be a happy man.


There are a bunch of rules for this thing, but they are bullshit. So if you want me to interview you, I will. If you want to steal these questions and answer them yourself, do it. And if you want to be a travel partner buy a greyhound bus ticket from Bend, OR to Chicago, IL on December 26th. 14 days in advance and it will be 81 bucks. Show up to oregon early and you can have christmas with my folks and snow.