the times we do, the times we don't

I got a digital camera for Christmas in 2005. I have taken a lot of pictures on it. Somewhere in the neighborhood of 4000. That is at least what I have saved. There are pictures from 3 going away parties, a last night in town, 6 or 7 different states, costume parties, birthdays, nights at bars, beaches, mountains, airports, trains, buses, friends, girlfriends, ex-friends, people I never see anymore, kitchens, living rooms, bedrooms, garages, yards, patios, apartments, houses, a pool, and my own blood.

I had a box, probably 14x20, full of pictures taken with traditional cameras. 35mm, 110 mm, disposable, polaroid. Sometime before I got the digital camera I threw all of those pictures away. I don't miss them, those times didn't seem familiar. I didn't long for them, I am happy they are gone. In terms of the pictures I own, I didn't exist before 2005.

It is a strange feeling, feeling like you didn't exist, when you know you did.

That might be why I take a lot of pictures now. I often forget to take pictures when something momentous is happening. The everyday stuff, I'm there for. And those pictures turn out better anyways.