somenights i thirst for real blood

So, about this business of staying up to see the sunrise. I was slinging margarita's at "Pepper's" and my roommates were doing sake bombs. I get home from work, 12:30ish, and the bastards are asleep. So I watch some heroes, I go to the celibate girl's house to drink beer on the shortest driveway in west Lancaster and watch a movie. She burned the popcorn, I almost stabbed her. Anyways, I get home at about 5, and everyone is still asleep. The sky is a nice begining morning blue and the animals are out in fullforce with their barking and chirping and crowing and honking (some cars were up too). So I went walking in the desert with my camera.

I am standing in the desert and I realized two things.

I should not be there. Everything I have ever been taught by people with more education or life experiance or money tells me that I should not be standing drunk and alone in a desert as the sunrises on a friday morning. I should be sleeping or getting ready for work. I should have finished school. I should be making a family. And I am doing none of it. Amongst my friends there is always talk of anarchy and practical application of it and blahblahblah. For those twenty minutes this morning I was doing it. I was alive. I was experiancing "space" in a new way.


I am impatiant. I stood there, alive, and between my breaths all I could think was that the sun was taking too long. I had things to do, or beds to crawl into, or something else. Nothing important, nothing meaningful, nothing as beautiful or exciting as what I was doing.

I didn't want it to end, but I couldn't wait for it to be finished.