Friday, June 29, 2007

I hear that sometimes you fall into old habits, I am just one old habit after another

I spent approximately two hours fighting for something I should not fight for at all.

Two weeks ago this saturday I met a girl. I'm not being vague. She is a girl.

We have spent some evenings together. We have spent some mornings together. We have spent some afternoons.

I like her. I enjoy her company, I enjoy her personality, I enjoy the time we spend together.

We have had two fights. Actually, I was found out about spending time with another girl while things were still being figured out between the two of us, and tonight we fought.

I fought. She said the same thing over and over again.

Honestly, we hung out and I wasn't sure if we were ever going to see eachother again, so I hung out with another girl. Once we hung out again and I thought we would hang out more I stopped hanging out with the other girl.

Apparently people who barely know me are telling this girl to look out. Granted, I have done shit things in the past, and I will do them again. But I don't know what is being said about me, and I don't know who is saying it.

The point of this is I fought for 2 hours. For a relationship that doesn't even exist. It's a "hey, I like you enough to not try to fuck other girls right now" sort of thing. Is that a relationship? Maybe, probably not though. Is it worth going through you most recent relationship/love/sex information and hitting levels of honesty not expected from a man at most times? I doubt it.

I argued like my life depended on it. (That's a Booth trait, if your keeping track.) I argued like a marriage was ending. I argued like I haven't in a long time. I argued like I cared. And I did. But if your going to believe things said about me said by acquaintances and not give me the opportunity to say those things are true or false by not telling me what is said, well, I'm just going to put another Booth trait into action and drink Jack Daniels. That will solve as much as me making my point 15 times and you not getting it.

I fucking said it, I fucking mean it, I fucking meant it. (that's for you gabe)

I am going to bed. I am pissed.

Tomorrow is friday. It can only get better, unless it gets worse. I won't stand in front of any buses.

I hate you for making me fight so hard. I hope you see it.


Anonymous said...

Well, my goodness gracious me.

I certainly don't think we should judge others by what is 'said' about them. Everyone should be able to come to their own conclusions about people they know without relying on gossip and finger pointing. ARE YOU SURE SHE'S WORTHY?

If she is, then that's great. It's generally one or the other - it's a complete bollicking myth that if you spend forever and ever deciding about someone things will suddenly become clearer. Nope. First impressions are rarely, if ever, wrong. So, if she is worthy and you do like her, then it would be hella wise to try and do a bit better than "hey, I like you enough to not try to fuck other girls right now." That's basically an insult in girl language. Come on, you are a passionate guy! You can do better than that if you like this girl :)

ImPerceptible said...

Alright Anthony, lets look at this from her point of view. I don’t know her but I’ll assume she’s the average early 20 something girl.

She meets a guy and she likes him. She likes him a lot. He’s handsome, he’s fun to talk to, and he turns her on. She tells her friends about him. Maybe she mentions him to her mom. In her mind she thinks about making him breakfast and snuggling up on beach with blankets and all that other mushy stuff. But she doesn’t think about it too much because she doesn’t want to get hurt. Right now you are perfect. Then she finds out your seeing someone else. Now she’s jealous and angry. You are now an asshole. If she were ten years older it wouldn’t be a big deal. She feels insecure because she hasn’t lived long enough to understand that relationships aren’t based on owning the exclusive rights to another person’s heart/penis.

Her “friend” tells her to watch out for you. This friend is jealous. Either they are jealous that her liking you will mess up the friendship/romantic relationship with her or it will mess up their friendship/romantic relationship with you. Unless you really are an abusive harmful jerk, those are the only two options. She doesn’t realize this because she wants a reason to stop liking you. No one wants to get hurt.

Then you argue about something and she says the same thing over and over again. That’s because it’s the very thing that she doesn’t want you to believe or do. Girls are complicated like that.

You argue the same point over and over. She doesn’t want you to do that. She wants you to just state your point and tell her you wished she felt the same way. There is a great deal of security in knowing that you can disagree and still get along. It’s also nice to know that someone isn’t trying to force their opinions on you. Even if you are wrong.

Then you get angry and drunk. She now knows that she and the friend was right. You are an asshole. She doesn’t realize her contribution to your assholedness but it’s not her fault. You are responsible for your own actions.

And liking someone enough to not fuck someone else, that is rude and obnoxious. If you told her that you are screwed – Not in a good way. Girls don’t like to be thought of as a preferred fuck buddy. Especially by someone they like. A little bit of respect and sensitivity is in order here.

ImPerceptible said...

Do I win for longest comment ever?

anthony said...

I'm not much of a comment responder. But there's nothing wrong with trying.

"hey, I like you enough to not try to fuck other girls right now" - probably not the best choice of words, or the best way to the describe the relationship, but an easy way for me to cheapen things after the fact to make myself feel better about having it fall apart because of veiled accusations by hidden people.

"He’s handsome, he’s fun to talk to, and he turns her on." - we found the problem right there, she met someone else. HA!

In my "defense" I wasn't seeing anyone else, I saw someone for about40 minutes one night, and we just kissed.

The funny thing about the argument is I DID state my point and tell her I wish she felt the same way, and then she would say "well, i heard to stay away from you". Then I would try to make my same point, but from a different direction. Same result, over and over again.

And yes, you win for longest comment ever.

Whit said...

fuck that ho!

I have no idea who she is, nor do I have anything important to offer. I just wanted to be the dick in the comments. Is that so wrong?

anthony said...

that was important, thank you whit.

Anonymous said...

See I was gonna be the girl dick and say that's too much drama for someone you are not even really seeing. I know that we need to look at it from the girl's point of view but damn, Gina....this is why those of us in our 30's cringe when we look back at the stupid shit, like this, that we did in our 20's.

You need to date older women or something!

bobb said...

i hate you for making me so hard. boner hard. ;)