Sunday, June 24, 2007

TMI - Video Sunday

The wonderful IslandGirl tagged me for this a few days ago. I have been thinking about it all week. So here we go, too much information about me.
  1. In junior high I had a suicide pact. It was myself and this girl Jessica Andre. We wrote it out and both signed it. We made two so we could each have one. I don't remember ever coming close to having to follow through, but there was talk of pills one especially horrible thursday. She became a stripper who then got married and had a couple kids. I became a drunk. She is divorced, we don't see eachother.
  2. My dad had a stash of porno in this locked cabinet. I figured out how to get into it with out unlocking it. I broke the lock one day and tried to fix it. He figured it out and fought with my mom because she though she did it. Turns out he had pictures of his mistresses and letters from them in there. I never told either of them. But I liked porno, what are you going to do?
  3. I don't need to watch porno. I just have to hear it. I get off more easily and with better quality just by hearing a woman moan and talk during sex. When I lived with my ex and we could hear our roommates making business I would be instantly in the mood. Her, not so much.
  4. I was in a relationship for 5 years. It was the result of a bet.
  5. I was two shifts away from being engaged. I went to the mall after a training meeting at work, picked out the ring, filled out the credit application, and waited. I needed to put down 500 bucks, then I could finance the rest. I had 375 on me. I told the salesperson I would work my next two shifts and have the money to come in. She put the ring on hold. I didn't go back.
  6. I will get vivid sensations in my mouth of the barrel of a gun. I have never had a gun in my mouth, but I can taste it.
  7. I threw away all the pictures I had ever taken before I had a digital camera. I don't want to remember how my life used to be, the good parts and the bad parts.
  8. When ever someone says "where do you see yourself in xxx years?" or "what do you see for your future?" I see myself driving a car and a little girl is sitting in the passenger seat. She is my daughter, she's about 10, and my wife is dead.
Well, there you go. I nominate Frowning of A Lifetime, Rattling the Kettle and Honea Express. Make it happen.

Enjoy your sunday.


Anonymous said...

That was wonderful! Your story about getting the ring is so sweet! Really, that is very cute. Shucks! And why did you never go back? I hope you're happy that you didn't & that it was for the best.

And I hope that when the time comes and you find yourself at Number 8, your wife turns out to be at home making you cookies or something! Gosh, I am sounding very domestic, it seems. But you'll know what I mean.

And, um, I liked Number 3!!!

*runs away*

ImPerceptible said...

Ummm, Bob Dylan.

Who's got you tangled up in blue? Your breaking my heart with this post.

Dan said...

That list was pure art.

I also have a strange feeling I will one day be a single parent. I also always imagine myself in a wheelchair.

Lets just hope I don't turn out to be some sort of psychic.

nerdling said...

That was alternately the saddest and sweetest blog post ever.

By a cannibal.